文不达意
【要点领悟】
在英语书面表达的提示信息中,常有这样的语句“可适当增加细节”或“可适当发挥”,但所增加的内容应该与文章相关。如果所“发挥”的内容与文章无关,就是“画蛇添足”了。
【信息提示】
根据下面的4幅图画用英语写一篇短文,要求故事包括所有图画的主要内容,可以适当增加细节,使意思连贯。词数在100以上。
One day, an old woman was crossing the street with a basket in her hand. She went to do some shopping. Just then a car came up and she was knocked down onto the ground. She was badly injured and couldn’t move. But to everyone’s anger, the car ran away as quickly as it could. The old woman had to lie on the ground and cried (1). Luckily, a man, who was sweeping the street nearby, saw this. He ran quickly up to her and helped her stand up. He was angry with the driver (2). Then he took her to the nearest hospital. There a doctor examined her carefully and gave her some medical care. After that, the dustman took her home. When the old woman’s daughter knew what had happened to her mother, she was moved deeply and thanked him very much. After a while the dustman left and went to do his work. The daughter thanked him again (3).
【精讲点拨】
(1)此句与图中提示不相符,应删去。
(2)此处加写这句属多余,也与图画内容不符。
(3)文章写到“...very much.”处已经很完整了,加上这一句使行文显得重复、累赘。
【精品范文】
One day, an old woman was crossing the street with a basket in her hand. She went to do some shopping. Just then a car came up and she was knocked down onto the ground. She was badly injured and couldn’t move a little. Luckily, a man, who was sweeping the street nearby, saw this. He ran quickly up to her and helped her stand up. Then he took her to the nearest hospital. There a doctor examined her carefully and gave her some medical care. After that, the dustman took her home. When the old woman’s daughter knew what had happened to her mother, she was moved deeply and thanked him very much.