Rob: Hi Helen. I thought I would pop round to talk to you about today's Authentic Real English but …err … it looks like you're busy … what are all these police cars doing here?

Helen: Quick, come in, shut the door….
….now this is very serious. There has been a murder.

Rob: What?

Helen: A murder! I know it's not very nice….but to be honest the police can't find any blood or a body. It's like a murder mystery.

Rob: Hmm, we need to do our own investigation. So what exactly happened?

Helen: Well, my friend came to see me this morning.

Rob: I see.

Helen: And we were having a nice chat when she said I could murder a coffee and then she disappeared and I haven't heard from her since.

Rob: Right. Well Helen, relax, I think she's still alive and everything is ok.

Helen: There's no murder?

Rob: No murder. When people say they could murder something it's an informal way of saying they are starving or thirsty and are desperate to have something to eat or drink.

Helen: But murder is a strong word.

Rob: Yes. It stresses how desperate someone is for something. A direct translation would mean you are so desperate for something you would kill it! But in reality, we don't go that far.

Helen: Thank goodness!

Rob: Here are some more examples:

• It's been a really tough day at work, I could murder a beer or two – anyone want to join me at the pub?

• I'm starving, I could murder a curry.

Helen: It's amazing what people will commit murder for!! But in reality when we would murder for something, we just have a desperate need for something.

Rob: People also describe a situation or a feeling as murder – but again there is no killing involved – they are just trying to explain that something is bad or uncomfortable.

Helen: So the word murder is also used to emphasise a bad situation or uncomfortable feeling. Such as Rob?

Rob: Such as in these examples:

• Running a marathon is murder on my knees.

• I've been decorating all day and my back is murder.

• Don't go on the London underground during the rush hour, it's murder!

Rob: So by saying 'it's murder' he means it's awful; it's terrible. Anyway Helen, now we know there's not been a real murder, I think we should tell these policemen to go home now.

Helen: Good idea. Excuse me…there's been a terrible misunderstanding. There's not been a murder so you can all go home.

Policeman: Oh right. So we've been wasting our time then? But hold on…I think there might be another murder soon.

Helen: Oh, why's that?

Policeman: Well, I could murder a cup of tea!

Helen: Of course.

Rob: I'll put the kettle on.

Helen & Rob: Bye.

Policeman: Milk, two sugars please!