英语美文,大千世界，因你我而不同 Up to us - By Caie Kelley 温纯 译

As she walks, thirty eyes follow her movement. I stare down at the floor, trying to distract myself and attempting to reach a center of serenity.

It's hard to describe the anxiety of a classroom when a teacher is handing back final test scores. We all want to do well, and in that moment, often nothing seems more important than that score at the top of the test. We are focused, united in our desire and our worry.” When my teacher has reached my desk, I scramble to find the score. 43/44. Yes! That's a strong A. My neighbor leans over and asks, “How'd you do?” I tell him, and he rolls his eyes. “It's just because you're half-Asian. I'd get those grades if I was Chinese, too.”

The words hurt, but I've heard them many times before. He's right, in a sense. I am half-Asian. I receive good grades, I have straight hair, and I play piano, so I guess I fit some of the stereotypes. But my school is full of cliques, each group divided by race, personality, and looks. I don't belong with the “Asian” clique. I am similar, but not quite like them, and they don't identify with me the way they do with each other. They bond over their need-to-succeed and the mistakes of their stupid white peers, and then they look at me.

But I don't fit in with my all-American friends either. My peers expect that I have perfect grades, and when I don't, they are quick in their judgment and harsh in their laughter. My achievements are often attributed to being half-Asian. I am happy about my achievements and satisfied with my lifestyle, but when the response to my stories are always, “It's just because you're Asian” or “You are so Asian”, it’s hard to just brush the comments away. My friends don't mean to taunt, but something about their tone cuts deep. Again, I am similar, but not quite like everybody else, and they don't identify with me the way they do with each other. I never feel quite at home among my friends.

Why?

America, and in particular, California, is a land full of immigrants. I am sure many of our parents and grandparents didn't feel quite at ease in their homeland, and that is probably part of the reason they came here. They sought acceptance and a diverse country where everyone could belong. Yet many of us seem to forget this when we stereotype each other and attribute our successes to our culture, instead of to our individual work. My successes are not because part of my family originated in China. The reason that I did well on that test was because I had studied. It's a simple fact, but it's easily forgotten in the midst of all the generalizations we tend to make.

We shouldn't identify ourselves with only the color of our skin. We each have our own talents, goals, and traditions. Our similarities stretch across borders and are not confined to a particular nation. I know this, yet when my peer turned to me and said, “It's just because you're Asian” after I told him my test score, I did nothing. I sighed, turned back to my work, and tried to overlook his words.

But silence is the not the way to deal with racial insensitivity. My silence makes the comment okay. It represents acceptance of such insensitivity, and allows, even encourages, that individual to hurt others with their words. I have another option, though.” I can speak up. I can let them know that it is not okay to be inconsiderate. I can let them know that such assumptions cause pain, and that their words spread thoughtlessness.

As teenagers, we are still young, and able to make a difference. So much promise stretches before us, as our words and actions will influence the next generation. It is possible to leave stereotypes behind, and filter our everyday consciousness. As Harry Millner once said, “All progress occurs because people dare to be different”. I am one person, but I can take a step. Progress begins now.
 

当她走近时，三十双眼睛都紧跟着她的动作。我眼向下盯着地板，试着分散注意力，试着保持淡定。

当老师发下期末考试的卷子时，教室里的紧张气氛真是一言难尽。我们都想做好，而此时此刻，通常没有什么比在班上考高分更重要了。此刻，我们因自己的渴望和忧虑而团结一致。

老师到了我的桌前，我慌张地查看成绩。44满分我得了43分。太好了！是个不折不扣的“优”。我的邻座靠过来问：“你怎么样？”我告诉了他，他便翻个白眼道：“还不是因为你是半个亚洲人。我要是中国人，我肯定也能得这个分数。”

这些话很伤人，虽然我已经听过很多次。在某种意义上，他是对的。我是半个亚洲人，我会得好成绩，我梳着直发，我还弹钢琴，我觉得我确实符合某些对于亚洲人的刻板印象。可是我们的学校里充满了小派系，每个都由种族、性格和外貌来划分。而我并不属于“亚裔”的圈子。我与他们相似，却不相同，他们无法待我如圈内人。他们之所以联合在一起，是出于那种必胜的心理和那些愚蠢的白人同学所犯的错误。而我，就是他们的眼中钉。

然而，我也无法融入“纯美国”的朋友圈子。我的同伴们总认为我会得全优的成绩，当我得不到时，他们马上指手画脚，无情嘲笑。我的成绩都归功于我身上一半的亚裔血统。我很满意我的成绩和生活方式，但对于我的故事，人们的反应总是：“因为你是亚裔啊”或者“你真是典型的亚洲人”。我很难对这些评论一笑了之。朋友们并不是有意嘲弄，但他们语调中的某些东西伤我至深。还是那句话，我与他们相似，却不相同，他们无法待我如圈内人。我在这些朋友中从未感觉自在。

为什么？

因为美国，尤其是加利福尼亚，是一个由移民组成的地方。我相信许多我们的父辈和祖辈在他们的故土上倍感不安，这可能是他们移民的部分原因。他们寻求包容，寻求一个多元的国家，在此人人得到归属。然而，很多人忘记了这一点，以至于将彼此分门别类，并将个人的成就归功于文化差异而不是个人努力。我的成就不仅仅源于我的华裔血统。我拿好成绩是因为我努力学习。就是这样一个简单的事实，却总是由于我们不由自主的成见而被轻易遗忘。

我们不该仅基于肤色去认同彼此。我们有各自的才华、目标和传统。我们的相似性能跨越国界，而不是局限于某个特定的国家之内。我深知这一点。然而当我告诉同伴们我的成绩，他们转向我，对我说“就是因为你是亚裔”时，我却毫无反应。我只会叹气，回去继续学习，试着忽略这些话。

但沉默不应该是应对种族成见的办法。我的沉默纵容了这些言论。沉默表示我接受这样的偏见，允许甚至鼓励他们再用这样的言论去伤害别人。然而，我有别的选择，那就是我可以直言不讳。我要让他们明白这样不考虑他人的感受是不对的。我可以让他们明白这样的臆断会造成痛苦，他们的言论会散播轻率的认知。

作为青少年，我们尚且年轻，依然有能力去创造不同。我们面前，希望无限，因为我们的言行都将影响到下一代人。放下偏见，梳理我们日常的意识。正如哈里?米尔纳所说，“所有的进步能够发生，都是因为人们敢于不同”。我只是一个普通人，但我能向前迈出一步。进步，从现在开始。