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If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternatively, there would never be more than three in a family.  ~Lawrence Housman


If pregnancy were a book they would cut the last two chapters.  ~Nora Ephron, Heartburn, 1983


I realize why women die in childbirth - it's preferable.  ~Sherry Glaser


A period is just the beginning of a lifelong sentence.  ~Cathy Crimmins


Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.  ~Rita Rudner


Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes.  ~Joyce Armor


There are three reasons for breast-feeding:  the milk is always at the right temperature; it comes in attractive containers; and the cat can't get it.  ~Irena Chalmers


A ship under sail and a big-bellied woman,
Are the handsomest two things that can be seen common.
~Benjamin Franklin


You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.  ~Dave Barry, "Things That It Took Me 50 Years to Learn"


Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child.  She must be found and stopped.  ~Sam Levenson


Love and pregnancy and riding on a camel cannot be hid.  ~Arabic Proverb


People are giving birth underwater now.  They say it's less traumatic for the baby because it's in water. But certainly more traumatic for the other people in the pool.  ~Elayne Boosler


God's interest in the human race is nowhere better evinced than in obstetrics.  ~Martin H. Fischer


Pregnancy is a disease from which you recover in 18 years and 9 months.  ~Carrie Latet


By far the most common craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant.  ~Phyllis Diller


Love is all fun and games until someone loses an eye or gets pregnant.  ~Jim Cole


It is said that the present is pregnant with the future.  ~Voltaire


Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.  ~Erma Bombeck


Some men are so macho they'll get you pregnant just to kill a rabbit.  ~Maureen Murphy


If men were equally at risk from this condition - if they knew their bellies might swell as if they were suffering from end-stage cirrhosis, that they would have to go nearly a year without a stiff drink, a cigarette, or even an aspirin, that they would be subject to fainting spells and unable to fight their way onto commuter trains - then I am sure that pregnancy would be classified as a sexually transmitted disease and abortions would be no more controversial than emergency appendectomies.  ~Barbara Ehrenreich

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