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Hockey belongs to the Cartoon Network, where a person can be pancaked by an ACME anvil, then expanded - accordion-style - back to full stature, without any lasting side effect.  ~Steve Rushin


Hockey captures the essence of Canadian experience in the New World.  In a land so inescapably and inhospitably cold, hockey is the chance of life, and an affirmation that despite the deathly chill of winter we are alive.  ~Stephen Leacock


Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept.  ~Doug Larson


By the age of 18, the average American has witnessed 200,000 acts of violence on television, most of them occurring during Game 1 of the NHL playoff series.  ~Steve Rushin


October is not only a beautiful month but marks the precious yet fleeting overlap of hockey, baseball, basketball, and football.  ~Jason Love


A puck is a hard rubber disc that hockey players strike when they can't hit one another.  ~Jimmy Cannon


Half the game is mental; the other half is being mental.  ~Jim McKenny


How would you like a job where, every time you make a mistake, a big red light goes on and 18,000 people boo?  ~Jacques Plante


Some people skate to the puck.  I skate to where the puck is going to be.  ~Wayne Gretzky


Ice hockey players can walk on water.  ~Author Unknown


Hockey players have fire in their hearts and ice in their veins.  ~Author Unknown


Hockey is murder on ice.  ~Jim Murray


Street hockey is great for kids.  It's energetic, competitive, and skilful.  And best of all it keeps them off the street.  ~Author Unknown


My other car is a Zamboni.  ~Hockey Saying


Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records.  ~Author Unknown


Don't go through life without goals.  ~Hockey Saying


Hockey is figure skating in a war zone.  ~Author Unknown


High sticking, tripping, slashing, spearing, charging, hooking, fighting, unsportsmanlike conduct, interference, roughing... everything else is just figure skating.  ~Author Unknown


Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns.  ~John Leonard


Four out of five dentists surveyed recommended playing hockey.  ~Author Unknown


Give blood.  Play hockey.  ~Author Unknown


All hockey players are bilingual.  They know English and profanity.  ~Gordie Howe


My goal is to deny yours.  ~Hockey Saying


When Hell freezes over, I'll play hockey there too.  ~Author Unknown


Black people dominate sports in the United States - 20 percent of the population and 90 percent of the Final Four.  We own this shit.  Basketball, baseball, football, golf, tennis, and as soon as they make a heated hockey rink we'll take that shit too.  ~Chris Rock


Red ice sells hockey tickets.  ~Bob Stewart


I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out.  ~Rodney Dangerfield


We get nose jobs all the time in the NHL, and we don't even have to go to the hospital.  ~Brad Park

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