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Vegetables are a must on a diet.  I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.  ~Jim Davis


Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity.  ~Voltaire


There is a lot more juice in grapefruit than meets the eye.  ~Author Unknown


We think fast food is equivalent to pornography, nutritionally speaking.  ~Steve Elbert


High-tech tomatoes.  Mysterious milk.  Supersquash.  Are we supposed to eat this stuff?  Or is it going to eat us?  ~Annita Manning


Sex is good, but not as good as fresh, sweet corn.  ~Garrison Keillor


Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?  ~Author Unknown


Those who forget the pasta are condemned to reheat it.  ~Author Unknown


I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning.  ~John Barrymore


Shipping is a terrible thing to do to vegetables.  They probably get jet-lagged, just like people.  ~Elizabeth Berry


No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut.  ~Channing Pollock


Red meat is not bad for you.  Now blue-green meat, that’s bad for you!  ~Tommy Smothers


Chemicals, n:  Noxious substances from which modern foods are made.  ~Author Unknown


It would be nice if the Food and Drug Administration stopped issuing warnings about toxic substances and just gave me the names of one or two things still safe to eat.  ~Robert Fuoss


As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices:  take it or leave it.  ~Buddy Hackett


Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage.  Lettuce pray.  ~Author Unknown


Edible, adj.:  Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.  ~Ambrose Bierce


One of the very nicest things about life is the way we must regularly stop whatever it is we are doing and devote our attention to eating.  ~Luciano Pavarotti and William Wright, Pavarotti, My Own Story


After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual "food" out of eating an artichoke as you would from licking 30 or 40 postage stamps.  ~Miss Piggy


The bagel, an unsweetened doughnut with rigor mortis.  ~Beatrice & Ira Freeman


You can say this for ready-mixes - the next generation isn't going to have any trouble making pies exactly like mother used to make.  ~Earl Wilson


The belly rules the mind.  ~Spanish Proverb


My favorite animal is steak.  ~Fran Lebowitz


When baking, follow directions.  When cooking, go by your own taste.  ~Laiko Bahrs


We are all dietetic sinners; only a small percent of what we eat nourishes us; the balance goes to waste and loss of energy.  ~William Osler


If only it was as easy to banish hunger by rubbing the belly as it is to masturbate.  ~Diogenes the Cynic


The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.  ~G.K. Chesterton


All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast.  ~John Gunther


Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first.  ~Josh Billings


Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.  ~Fran Lebowitz


A bagel is a doughnut with the sin removed.  ~George Rosenbaum


Great eaters and great sleepers are incapable of anything else that is great.  ~Henry IV of France


Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography.  ~Robert Byrne


It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.  ~Lewis Grizzard


In Mexico we have a word for sushi:  bait.  ~José Simons


I don't think America will have really made it until we have our own salad dressing.  Until then we're stuck behind the French, Italians, Russians and Caesarians.  ~Pat McNelis


Chili represents your three stages of matter:  solid, liquid, and eventually gas.  ~Roseanne, "Don't Make Me Over," May 1992, spoken by character Dan Conner


If organic farming is the natural way, shouldn't organic produce just be called "produce" and make the pesticide-laden stuff take the burden of an adjective?  ~Ymber Delecto


A nickel will get you on the subway, but garlic will get you a seat.  ~Old New York Proverb


Large, naked raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who lie in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter.  ~Fran Lebowitz


It's bizarre that the produce manager is more important to my children's health than the pediatrician.  ~Meryl Streep


Eat little, sleep sound.  ~Iranian Proverb


The greatest delight the fields and woods minister is the suggestion of an occult relation between man and the vegetable.  I am not alone and unacknowledged.  They nod to me and I to them.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson


The way you cut your meat reflects the way you live.  ~Confucius


Worries go down better with soup.  ~Jewish Proverb


Food is an important part of a balanced diet.  ~Fran Lebowitz


I eat merely to put food out of my mind.  ~N.F. Simpson


I take a vitamin every day.  It's called a steak.  ~Leo Benvenuti and Steve Rudnick, Kicking & Screaming, 2005, spoken by the character Buck Weston


Dyspepsia is the remorse of a guilty stomach.  ~A. Kerr


This is every cook's opinion -
no savory dish without an onion,
but lest your kissing should be spoiled
your onions must be fully boiled.
~Jonathan Swift


Sleep 'til you're hungry, eat 'til you're sleepy.  ~Author Unknown


Chowder breathes reassurance.  It steams consolation.  ~Clementine Paddleford


A nickel's worth of goulash beats a five dollar can of vitamines.  ~Martin H. Fischer


We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.  ~Alfred E. Newman


If God had intended us to follow recipes,
He wouldn't have given us grandmothers.
~Linda Henley


An empty belly is the best cook.  ~Estonian Proverb


It is, in my view, the duty of an apple to be crisp and crunchable, but a pear should have such a texture as leads to silent consumption.  ~Edward Bunyard


If we're not willing to settle for junk living, we certainly shouldn't settle for junk food.  ~Sally Edwards


If junk food is the devil, then a sweet orange is as scripture.  ~Audrey Foris


Rice is born in water and must die in wine.  ~Italian Proverb


There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won't, and that's a wife who can't cook and will.  ~Robert Frost


Nobody seems more obsessed by diet than our anti-materialistic, otherworldly, New Age spiritual types.  But if the material world is merely illusion, an honest guru should be as content with Budweiser and bratwurst as with raw carrot juice, tofu and seaweed slime.  ~Edward Abbey


The breakfast slimes, angel food cake, doughnuts and coffee, white bread and gravy cannot build an enduring nation.  ~Martin H. Fischer


What is patriotism but the love of the food one ate as a child?  ~Lin Yutang


Everything I eat has been proved by some doctor or other to be a deadly poison, and everything I don't eat has been proved to be indispensable for life.  But I go marching on.  ~George Bernard Shaw


A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch.  ~James Beard


We plan, we toil, we suffer - in the hope of what?  A camel-load of idol's eyes?  The title deeds of Radio City?  The empire of Asia?  A trip to the moon?  No, no, no, no.  Simply to wake just in time to smell coffee and bacon and eggs.  ~J.B. Priestly


You can find your way across this country using burger joints the way a navigator uses stars.  ~Charles Kuralt


I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly.  Tuna fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock.  ~Barbara Grizzuti Harrison


Hunger is the best sauce in the world.  ~Cervantes


There is no love sincerer than the love of food.  ~George Bernard Shaw, "The Revolutionist's Handbook," Man and Superman


He who distinguishes the true savor of his food can never be a glutton; he who does not cannot be otherwise.  ~Henry David Thoreau


I will not eat oysters.  I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.  ~Woody Allen


We load up on oat bran in the morning so we'll live forever.  Then we spend the rest of the day living like there's no tomorrow.  ~Lee Iacocca


Recipe:  A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the dog wouldn't eat.  ~Author Unknown


And I find chopsticks frankly distressing.  Am I alone in thinking it odd that a people ingenious enough to invent paper, gunpowder, kites and any number of other useful objects, and who have a noble history extending back 3,000 years haven't yet worked out that a pair of knitting needles is no way to capture food?  ~Bill Bryson


Kissing don't last; cookery do!  ~George Meredith


Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.  ~Mark Twain


Did you ever stop to taste a carrot?  Not just eat it, but taste it?  You can't taste the beauty and energy of the earth in a Twinkie.  ~Astrid Alauda


Cutting stalks at noontime.  Perspiration drips to the earth.  Know you that your bowl of rice each grain from hardship comes?  ~Chang Chan-Pao


Condensed milk is wonderful.  I don't see how they can get a cow to sit down on those little cans.  ~Fred Allen


Great food is like great sex.  The more you have the more you want.  ~Gael Greene


No, I don't take soup.  You can't build a meal on a lake.  ~Elsie de Wolfe (Lady Mendl)


The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers.  The original meal has never been found.  ~Calvin Trillin


Anyhow, the hole in the doughnut is at least digestible.  ~H.L. Mencken


You are what you eat.  For example, if you eat garlic you're apt to be a hermit.  ~Franklin P. Jones


The inventor of soda crackers has a place in hell.  ~Martin H. Fischer


Plant a radish, get a radish, never any doubt.  That's why I love vegetables, you know what they're about!  ~Tom Jones and Harvey Schmidt


We should look for someone to eat and drink with before looking for something to eat and drink... ~Epicurus


He who eats alone chokes alone.  ~Proverb


After dinner sit a while, and after supper walk a mile.  ~English Saying


Vegetables are the food of the earth; fruit seems more the food of the heavens.  ~Sepal Felicivant


Always eat grapes downward - that is eat the best grapes first; in this way there will be none better left on the bunch, and each grape will seem good down to the last.  If you eat the other way, you will not have a good grape in the lot.  ~Samuel Butler


The story of barbecue is the story of America:  Settlers arrive on great unspoiled continent, discover wondrous riches, set them on fire and eat them.  ~Vince Staten


Custard:  A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook.  ~Ambrose Bierce


If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?  ~Author Unknown


He was a very valiant man who first adventured on eating oysters.  ~James I


Strawberries are the angels of the earth, innocent and sweet with green leafy wings reaching heavenward.  ~Jasmine Heiler


Tell me what you eat, I'll tell you who you are.  ~Anthelme Brillat-Savarin


The more you eat, the less flavor; the less you eat, the more flavor.  ~Chinese Proverb


Proust had his madeleines; I am devastated by the scent of yeast bread rising.  ~Bert Greene


Sugar is a type of bodily fuel, yes, but your body runs about as well on it as a car would.  ~V.L. Allineare


As for butter versus margarine, I trust cows more than chemists.  ~Joan Gussow


An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh.  ~Will Rogers


Hunger:  One of the few cravings that cannot be appeased with another solution.  ~Irwin Van Grove


Training is everything.  The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.  ~Mark Twain


The woman just ahead of you at the supermarket checkout has all the delectable groceries you didn't even know they carried.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


You can tell how long a couple has been married by whether they are on their first, second or third bottle of Tobasco.  ~Bruce Bye


There is nothing better on a cold wintry day than a properly made pot pie.  ~Craig Claiborne


You know how I feel about tacos.  It's the only food shaped like a smile.  A beef smile.  ~Danielle Sanchez-Witzel and Michael Pennie, My Name is Earl, "South of the Border Part Uno/Dos," original airdate 7 December 2006, spoken by the character Earl Hickey


If soup isn't hot enough to make a grown man wince, it's undrinkable.  ~Grey Livingston


The whole of nature, as has been said, is a conjugation of the verb to eat, in the active and in the passive.  ~William Ralph Inge


And, of course, the funniest food of all, kumquats.  ~George Carlin


A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money.  Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do.  ~P.J. O'Rourke


Avoid fruit and nuts.  You are what you eat.  ~Jim Davis


In general, mankind, since the improvement in cookery, eats twice as much as nature requires.  ~Benjamin Franklin


Food is so primal, so essential a part of our lives, often the mere sharing of recipes with strangers turns them into good friends.  That's why I love this community.  ~Jasmine Heiler, about recipezaar.com


I'm not sure what makes pepperoni so good - if it's the pepper or the oni.  ~Ulrik Stephens


Happiness is a bowl of cherries and a book of poetry under a shade tree.  ~Astrid Alauda


All sorrows are less with bread.  ~Miguel de Cervantes, Don Quixote


The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later you're hungry again.  ~George Miller


This special feeling towards fruit, its glory and abundance, is I would say universal.... We respond to strawberry fields or cherry orchards with a delight that a cabbage patch or even an elegant vegetable garden cannot provoke.  ~Jane Grigson


No man is lonely eating spaghetti; it requires so much attention.  ~Christopher Morley


Oil and potatoes both grow underground so french fries may have eventually produced themselves, had they not been invented.  ~A.J. Esther


When I'm at a Chinese restaurant having a hard time with chopsticks, I always hope that there's a Chinese kid at an American restaurant somewhere who's struggling mightily with a fork.  ~Rick Budinich


A converted cannibal is one who, on Friday, eats only fishermen.  ~Emily Lotney


Fish, to taste right, must swim three times - in water, in butter, and in wine.  ~Polish Proverb


He that eats till he is sick must fast till he is well.  ~English Proverb


The spirit cannot endure the body when overfed, but, if underfed, the body cannot endure the spirit.  ~St Frances de Sales


[Breadbaking is] one of those almost hypnotic businesses, like a dance from some ancient ceremony.  It leaves you filled with one of the world's sweetest smells... there is no chiropractic treatment, no Yoga exercise, no hour of meditation in a music-throbbing chapel, that will leave you emptier of bad thoughts than this homely ceremony of making bread.  ~M.F.K. Fisher, The Art of Eating


I'll bet what motivated the British to colonize so much of the world is that they were just looking for a decent meal.  ~Martha Harrison


Cooking is like love.  It should be entered into with abandon or not at all.  ~Harriet van Horne


A man may be a pessimistic determinist before lunch and an optimistic believer in the will's freedom after it.  ~Aldous Huxley


Cheese - milk's leap toward immortality.  ~Clifton Fadiman


Life goes faster on protein.  ~Martin H. Fischer


But when the time comes that a man has had his dinner, then the true man comes to the surface.  ~Mark Twain


There is no sight on earth more appealing than the sight of a woman making dinner for someone she loves.  ~Thomas Wolfe


Soup and fish explain half the emotions of human life.  ~Sydney Smith


Don't forget that the flavors of wine and cheese depend upon the types of infecting microörganisms.  ~Martin H. Fischer


There is no such thing as a little garlic.  ~A. Baer


Soup is liquid comfort.  ~Author Unknown


To the old saying that man built the house but woman made of it a "home" might be added the modern supplement that woman accepted cooking as a chore but man has made of it a recreation.  ~Emily Post


There are only ten minutes in the life of a pear when it is perfect to eat.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson


What is stronger than a mother's love?  The smell of spring onions on your girl's breath.  ~Four Hundred Laughs: Or, Fun Without Vulgarity, compiled and edited by John R. Kemble, 1902


Bread deals with living things, with giving life, with growth, with the seed, the grain that nurtures.  It is not coincidence that we say bread is the staff of life.  ~Lionel Poilane


Most of the food allergies die under garlic and onion.  ~Martin H. Fischer


Great restaurants are, of course, nothing but mouth-brothels.  There is no point in going to them if one intends to keep one's belt buckled.  ~Frederic Raphael


It's so beautifully arranged on the plate - you know someone's fingers have been all over it.  ~Julia Child


As the days grow short, some faces grow long.  But not mine.  Every autumn, when the wind turns cold and darkness comes early, I am suddenly happy.  It's time to start making soup again.  ~Leslie Newman


Bread and butter, devoid of charm in the drawing-room, is ambrosia eating under a tree.  ~Elizabeth Russell


My soul is dark with stormy riot,
Directly traceable to diet.
~Samuel Hoffenstein


I'm trying to eat better.  And, I do feel wise after drinking tea.  After eating vegetables, I just feel hungry.  ~Carrie Latet


A three-year-old gave this reaction to her Christmas dinner:  "I don't like the turkey, but I like the bread he ate."  ~Author Unknown


Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.  ~Doug Larson

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