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Making Friends in the USA In the USA, conversation is less lively than in many other cultures, where everyone talks at the same time. When someone talks, everyone is expected to listen, no matter how dull the person’s speaking may be. If you’re not sure what to talk about, you can ask what people do. We’re defined by our jobs and we’re usually happy to talk about them, unless you’re spy! Some people say that Americans talk about their feelings more than Asians, but are more secretive about factual matters. You can safely ask questions about families, where you come from, leisure interests, as well as the latest movies. We’re interested in people’s ethnic background too. But it’s best to avoid politics, religion and other sensitive topics. A highly personal conversation can take place after a very short period of knowing someone, but this doesn’t mean that you’re close friends, or the relationship is very deep. But a lot of people are very friendly and hospitable, and the famous invitation “If you’re ever in Minneapolis / San Diego / Poughkeepsie, do call by and see us!” is never made without a genuine desire to meet again. But while few Americans will worry about the questions you may ask, particularly if you clearly show you’re aware of cultural differences, they may hesitate before they ask you similar questions. In fact, it’s a sign that they don’t wish to violate your private life. So, many Americans will talk about safe topics because they don’t dare to be too curious or personal, but will happily talk about more private matters if you take the lead. Generally we dislike arguments, and we avoid topics which lead to disagreement. It’s easy to return to discussing the weather: “Do you like the USA?” How do you like the weather?” or making compliments: ”What lovely flowers and what a beautiful vase!” “That’s fabulous dress you’re wearing.” You should accept compliments graciously and say “Thank you!” There are a couple of dangerous topics of conversation: age and money. Age is not treated as something very special, unless someone is very old: “Isn’t she wonderful for her age!” and there are no special rules or signs of extra respect for elderly people. Anyway, Americans always want to look younger than they really are, so don’t expect an accurate reply! Income is a very private matter, and you’d do well to avoid asking how much people earn, although some people may not only be open about it, but show off their wealth. We don’t ask how much things cost, either. But what we don’t like is silence, and almost anything is better than the embarrassment for a quiet party and silent guests. Make friends in the USA 在美国交朋友 在美国，交谈比再许多别的国家沉闷得多，在别的国家大家都一起聊天。而在美国，当每个人发表见解时，不管他说的多磨无聊，每个人都应该倾听。 如果你不确定谈论什么，你可以问一下别人是做什么的。工作体现着我们的特质，而且我们通常乐意去谈他们，除非你是个间谍！ 有些人说美国人谈论感情要比亚洲人多，但他们对现实的事情却避而不谈。你可以喊坦然的问家庭，对方籍贯，业余爱好及最新电影等相关问题。我们对人们的民族背景也感兴趣。但最好避免政治，宗教等敏感话题。 两人认识很短一段时间后，可能会有一些亲密的交谈，这并不意味着你们是亲密的朋友或关系非常好。但许多人非常友好好客，而且如果无意再相见，他们是不会做出“如果你有机会到明尼阿波利斯\圣地亚哥\波及普西，无比混都来看看我们！”这种人们所见惯的邀请的。 但是尽管极少数美国人会担心你可能提出的问题，尤其是你明显表现出你了解文化差异时，再问你相似的文字之前，他们会犹豫。事实上，这表明他们不希望侵犯你的私人生活。因此他们不敢（表现得）太好奇或太冒昧，但如果你首先引入私人话题，他们会高兴地谈论更多关于私人的事情。 一般来说我们不喜欢争论，并避开那些（可能）导致分歧的话题。很容易回到天气的讨论中：“你喜欢美国吗？你觉得这儿的天气怎么样？”或者说些称赞的话：“多么可爱的花，多么漂亮的花瓶啊！”“你穿的这件连衣裙真漂亮。”你应该欣然接受赞美并说“谢谢！” 会话中有两个敏感的话题：年龄和钱。年龄并没有被当作特殊的话题，除非某人年事已高：“以她的年龄而言，难道她活得不精彩吗？”而且没有格外尊敬老人的规定或迹象。不管怎样，美国人总是想让自己看起来比他们的真实年龄年轻些，因此别指望他们给出确切的回答！ 收入是很私人的事情，你最好避免问别人挣多少钱，尽管有些人对此不仅不加隐瞒，而且还有炫耀之意。我们通常也不问东西值多少钱。 但是我们不喜欢沉默不语，几乎任何事情都比宴会冷清、宾客沉默所带来的尴尬要好。 |
