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How Good Are Your Social Skills? Have you ever crossed the road to avoid talking to someone you recognize? Would you love to go to a party and talk confidently to every guest? Do you want to make more friends but lack the confidence to talk to people you don’t know? And are you nervous about the idea of being at a social event in another country? Don’t worry – we can help you! You needn’t worry about situations like these if you have good social skills. And they are easy to learn. People with good social skills communicate well and know how to have a conversation. It helps if you do a little advance planning. Here are a few ideas to help you. Learn how to do small talk. Small talk is very important and prepares you for more serious conversations. Be prepared! Have some low-risk conversation openers ready. For example: Think of a recent news story – not to serious, e.g. a story about a film star or sports star. Think of things to tell people about your studies. Think of “safe” things you can ask people’s opinions about – music, sport, films, etc. Think of topics that you would avoid if you were talking to strangers – and avoid talking about them! That way, you don’t damage your confidence! Develop your listening skills Listening is a skill which most people lack, but communication is a two-way process – it involves speaking AND listening. Always remember – you won’t impress people if you talk too much. Here are some ideas to make you a better listener: DO Show that you are listening by using encouraging noises and gestures – smiling, nodding, saying “uh-huh” and “OK”, etc. Keep good eye contact Use positive body language Ask for more information to show your interest DON’T Look at your watch Yawn Sign Look away from the person who’s talking to you Change the subject Finish other people’s sentences for them Always remember the words of Benjamin Disraeli, British Prime Minister in the 19th century: “Talk to a man about himself, and he will speak to you for hours!” Learn the rules If you go to a social occasion in another country, remember that social rules can be different. In some countries, for example, you have to arrive on time at a party; in other countries, you don’t need to. In addition, you need to know how long you should stay, and when you have to leave. Some hosts expect flowers or a small gift, but in other places, you can take things, but you needn’t if you don’t want t. remember also that in some countries, you mustn’t take flowers of a certain colour, because they’re unlucky. In most places, you don’t have to take a gift to a party – but find our first! How Good Are Your Social Skills? 你的社交技能有多高？ 你是否看见认识的人以后，故意过马路以避免与其说话？你愿意参加聚会并自信的和每位来宾交谈吗？你想结交更多的朋友，但是又缺乏与陌生人交谈的信心吗？你是否一想到要在别的国家参加社交活动就觉得忐忑不安？别担心——我们能帮助你！ 如果你具备了良好的社交技能，你就不用担心这样的情景。而这些技能是很容易学习的。具有良好社交技能的人能很好的和别人交流并且知道该怎么样说话。要是预先做点准备，将会对你有所帮助。 下面为你出些主意。 Learn how to small talk 学会怎样聊天 聊天时很重要的，并能帮助你为一些更严肃的谈话做准备。准备好！准备一些不太会出错的开场白。例如： o想出一个最近的新闻故事——不要太严肃，譬如，一个有关于电影明星或体育明星的故事 o想出一些有关于你的学习的事情告诉人们 o想出一些“不会出错”的事情询问别人的意见——音乐，体育，电影等 o想出一些和陌生人谈话时要回避的话题——并且要避免谈论这些话题！那样，你的信心就不会被伤害了！ Develop you listening skills 提高倾听的技能 倾听是大多数人所缺乏的技巧，而交流时双向的过程——它涉及说和听两个方面。永远记住——话太多并不会给人留下怎样的印象。下面是一些使你成为更好的倾听者的建议： Do… 做下面的事情…… o用一些鼓励的声音或姿势表示你正在倾听——微笑，点头，说一些“嗯”或“对啊”之类的话等等 o保持得体的目光接触 o使用积极肯定的肢体语言 o询问更多的信息表示你的兴趣 Don’t… 不要做下面的事情…… o看自己的手表 o打哈欠 o叹气 o把目光从正跟你说话的人身上移开 o改变话题 o替别人把话说完 要牢记19世纪英国首相本杰明o迪斯累里的话：“和一个人谈论他自己，他会和你说上几个小时！” Learn the rules 学习规则 如果你在另一个国家去参加一个社交场合，要记住会有不同的社交规则。例如，在一些国家，你得准时参加聚会；而在另一些国家就不需要。另外，你需要知道该待多久，该在何时离开。有的主人希望能得到鲜花或小礼品，而在另一些地方你可以给主人送东西，但如果你不想送就没有必要送。还有，要记住在有的国家你不能带某种颜色的鲜花，因为那是不吉利的。在大多数地方，参加聚会不必带礼物——但你得事先弄清楚！ |
