|
Saving the date 恋爱预留日 1 Every day I anxiously wait for you to get to class. I can't wait for us to smile at each other and say good morning. When you arrive only seconds before the lecture commences, I'm indifferent to anything but your arrival. Instead of reviewing my lesson, I anticipate your footsteps and listen for your voice. Today is one of your late days, but I don't mind because after a month of denying the impulse to ask you out, today I'm feeling bold. Today I'm inclined to act. 每天我都焦急地等你来上课。我迫不及待地等待我们的互相微笑，互问早安。你在离上课仅几秒前才出现，在那之前，我对任何东西都无动于衷，只会注意你的到来。我不温习功课，却期待着你的脚步声，期待听到你的声音。今天你又来晚了,但我不介意，因为在想约你出去的冲动被克制了一个月之后，今天我感觉大胆多了。今天，我要采取行动。 2 I know dating has changed dramatically in recent years, and for many women, asking men out isn't daring. But because of my traditional upbringing, the simple notion of asking you out seems abnormal. Growing up, I heard the clear message: Men must take the initiative and make contact. They should call, ask and pay for the date. However, during my years at the university, I've learned otherwise. Many of my women friends have put a spark in their social lives by taking the initiative with men. My girlfriends reckon that it's essential for women to participate more actively in the dating process. "I can't be idle and wait," my former roommate once said. "Hard as it is, if I want to date, I have to ask guys out!" 我知道约会方式近年来有了显著的改变，对许多女性来说，邀请男性出去已不是什么大胆的举动。但是，因为我所受的传统教育，邀请你出去这一简单的概念似乎非同寻常。从小到大，这一信息很明确：男性必须主动出击，联络女性。他们应该打电话，要求约会，并支付约会的费用。然而，在大学这么些年，我了解到的并非如此。我的许多女性朋友通过主动提出与男性交往，让她们的社交生活迸出了火花。我的女性朋友都认为，女性必须更多地参与约会的过程。“我不能无所事事、一味等待，”我的前室友曾说。“虽然这很难，但如果我想约会，我必须邀请男人出去！” 3 More women are taking the initiative and invite men out, and many men say they view this new phenomenon with approval. They are relieved that dating no longer solely depends on their willingness and courage to take the first step. Then why am I so nervous? 更多的女性在争取主动，在邀请男性出去。许多男性说他们认同这一新现象。他们都松了一口气，约会不再仅仅取决于男性自己的意愿和勇气来踏出第一步。那么，我为什么还这么紧张？ 4 I tell myself to relax since dating is more casual today. A college date means anything from studying together to simply having leisure time together like watching a film. Most of my peers prefer casual dating because it's cheaper and comfortable. Students have fewer anxiety attacks when they ask somebody to play tennis than when they plan a formal occasion. 我告诉自己要放松，因为如今的约会要比以往来得轻松。一个大学的约会可以是两个人一起做任何事，从一起学习到一起共度闲暇时间，如看电影。我的同龄人大多喜欢非正式的约会，因为它花费更少，且舒适。学生邀请人打网球要比他们计划一个正式场合的约会更感轻松。 5 As an added bonus, casual dating also encourages people to forge healthy friendships prior to starting romantic relationships. Young people can relax and get to know each other more easily this way. For example, my roommate and her boyfriend were friends for four months before their chemistry clicked. They went out often with a bunch of mutual friends. They alternated paying the dinner check. "He was like any other friend," my roommate said laughing. Another friend of mine believes casual dating improves people's social lives, allowing them to circulate in wider social circles. When she wants to let a guy know she is interested, she'll say, "Hey, let's go get a yogurt." or "How about a cup of tea?" 非正式约会的额外好处是，它鼓励人们在开始浪漫的关系前，先建立起健康的友谊。这样，年轻人可以更容易放松心情和了解对方。例如，我的室友和她的男友在他们来电之前做了四个月的普通朋友。他们经常与一群共同的朋友出去。他们轮流买单。“他就像任何其他的朋友一样，”我的室友笑着说。另一位朋友认为，非正式约会能改善人们的社会生活，使他们周旋于更广泛的社交圈。当她想要让一个男人知道她对他很感兴趣时，她会说：“嘿，我们去喝一杯酸奶吧”或“来一杯茶如何？” 6 Who pays for it? It's not as easy as it used to be because the traditional rules of courtship are undergoing major changes. Preliminary statistics also affirm this. A plurality of young men say women should chip in and help pay after a few dates. An almost equal percentage of women offer to pay for themselves, even on a first date. But widespread confusion still exists. The new rules have yet to be clarified. 可谁来买单？这可不如以前那么容易了，因为求爱的传统规则正在发生重大变化。初步统计的数字也证明了这一点。众多的青年男子说，在约会几次后，女性应该帮着一同买单。几乎相等百分比的女性要求自己买单，哪怕是第一次约会。但巨大的困惑仍然存在，新规则还有待澄清。 7 My own past dates have taught me some things. Either "going Dutch" or allowing my date to pay can be a definite challenge. One date whipped out his wallet on our first date before I could suggest otherwise. During an after-dinner walk, he proceeded to tell me he was romantically interested in me. After I explained I was more interested in friendship, he seemed unhappy. He explained that since I'd accepted his paying for my dinner, he'd assumed I was interested in romance. He seemed angry with himself for treating me. I regretted allowing him to. 我自己过去的约会教会了我一些东西。“各付各的”或是让我的约会对象买单可以说都是绝对的挑战。有一个约会对象在我们第一次约会时，还没等我提出相左的建议，就掏出了钱包。在晚餐后散步时，他告诉我他想跟我谈恋爱。当我解释我对做朋友更感兴趣时，他似乎感到不快。他解释说，因为我接受了他请我吃晚餐，所以他认为我会跟他恋爱。他似乎对请我吃饭一事很生自己的气，而我也很后悔让他这么做。 8 Another date frowned when I hastily opened my purse, pulled out my wallet, and offered to go Dutch. I asked politely, "How much do I owe you?" He said, "Uh, uh, you really don't owe me anything, but if you insist …" He looked exceedingly embarrassed. To him, my gesture of offering to pay had conveyed a message of rejection. 另一个约会对象，在我急忙打开钱包掏出钱，并提出各付各的时，他皱起了眉头。我客气地问道：“我欠你多少钱？”他说：“嗯，嗯，你真的不欠我什么，但如果你坚持……”他显得极为尴尬。对他而言，我要付钱的行动已传达了他被拒绝的信息。 9 Everyone seems confused as they try to clarify the new rules of dating. Who should ask whom out? Who should pay and when? So, while I do think dressing up and going out on traditional, formal dates is a blast, I thrive on casual dating because it has brought a valuable dimension to my social life. With casual dating, there's less pressure and more equality. I can give roses as well as receive them! Casual dating is worthwhile because it works. 在试图搞清约会的新规则时，每个人似乎都感到困惑。谁应请谁出去？谁应付钱？什么时候付？所以，虽然我认为穿着正式地去一个传统、正式的约会是一种乐趣，但我还是乐意去非正式的约会，因为它给我的社交生活带来了有价值的一面。因为是非正式约会，压力较小，且更平等。我可以送别人玫瑰，别人也可以送我！非正式约会值得去做，因为它管用。 10 So here I am, waiting. No magic formula guarantees he will say "yes". I just have to relax, be myself and ask him out in a no-nonsense manner. 所以，我在这里等待着。没有神奇的方案可以确保他会说“好的”。我得放松，做我自己，并用一种没有废话的方式邀请他出去。 11 He finally arrives. Sliding into his desk, he pats my shoulder and asks, "Hi, what's up?" 他终于到了。在悄悄地溜到他的书桌时，他拍拍我的肩膀，说：“嗨，早上好啊！” 12 "Good morning," I answer cautiously. With a knot in the pit of my stomach, I conquer my fear and ask, "Hey, how about lunch after class on Friday?" “早上好，”我谨慎地回答。因为紧张，我的心紧揪着，可是我征服了恐惧，问道：“嘿，这个周五下课后一起吃午餐，怎么样？” 13 "You mean after the midterm?" he says with barely concealed enthusiasm. "I'd love to go to lunch with you." “你的意思是期中考试后吗？”他用难以掩饰的热情说：“我很愿意和你一起吃午餐。” 14 Thrilled and smiling broadly, I confirm, "Well then, we'll save the date!" "Yes, we will!" he replies cheerfully. 我很激动，笑得很开心，并跟他确认：“那，我们就定了那天啦！”“好，就那样！”他兴高采烈地回答。 |
