如何应对别人的批评 - BBC伊丽莎白·迦罗娜(Elizabeth Garone)(2023年7月2日)

有时甚至“绩效考核”这样的词也会让员工们不寒而栗。更何况还有很多一提起就让人感到害怕的老板呢？

绩效考核，目的是评估员工上一年的工作表现，这几乎已成为所有公司的标准。位于弗吉尼亚州的人力资源管理机构在2014年的一项研究表明，近90%的美国公司每年至少展开一次正式评估。此外，美世咨询公司(Mercer) 的研究也表明，在国际上，78%的公司与员工有一对一的绩效讨论。

所以，如果你的最新考核结果与你希望的不同，你该怎么办?

行在当下

当你的经理告诉你，她希望你能在接下的工作中与过去半年或一年相比有所进步时，你一定会感到很紧张。露丝·罗斯(Ruth Ross)是一名来自北加州的员工敬业度顾问、作家和演说家，她表示此时应尽量不要为自己辩护。在一封电子邮件中，她曾说到，“相反，你可以深呼吸，了解更详细的信息，获得更明确的反馈，例如一些具体实例将帮助你认识到你的问题和行为。”

她还建议，不要说“我不知道你想从我这里得到什么，”而应该说“我希望明确您对我的期望是什么”。“我需要更多信息和时间来处理它。”你可以告诉你的老板，你需要一些时间来消化他们的反馈，希望在第二次会议中再进一步讨论这个问题。

注意素养

伦敦经济学院的管理学副教授乌塔·班德尔(Uta Bindl)博士表示，你可能会感到很受伤，甚至可能很生气，这都是可以理解的。“特别是如果你觉得对你的工作充满激情，并为目前的职位感到自豪，糟糕的绩效考核可能会重创你的自尊。”但注意不要在工作中过多宣泄你的情绪。班德尔在邮件中还表示，“你应该明确的一件事就是切勿在你的同事或老板面前发泄你的负面情绪。尽管这样做会让你在短时间内觉得很痛快，但总的来说，这不仅不能帮助你，反而会伤害你。”

相反，你要保持礼貌，显得有职业素养。班德尔说，“你可以试着这样想，你得到的任何负面反馈都可以改善。它并不是针对你本身。千万不要认为自己是一个受害者，而更应该积极面对，相信这种情况在未来可以得到改善。”

放松自己

班德尔表示，如果绩效评估让你情绪波动，而这一天剩余的时间你还不得不继续工作，那么先休息一会儿，在周围散散步，或者来杯咖啡也是不错的选择。“做一些会让你振作起来的事，感觉平静多了再回去工作。当你回到家，可以让自己小哭一会儿。和朋友喝喝咖啡聊聊天，也能让你振作起来。或者让你的伴侣带你出去吃一顿美餐，参加一些自己喜欢的活动。”

下一步该怎么办?

当你觉得已经做好准备，再慢慢重新阅读这些考核结果，了解更多情况。罗斯建议，“找到关键问题，举出具体的例子，并制定改善计划。”

如果你确定老板会和你有第二次讨论，首先你要表明已经认真思考过自己的工作反馈，然后建议老板与你一起制定下一步计划。罗斯建议，“表达你的感激之情，虚心接受建议，并愿意做出改变。”

又假设你不同意公司对你的考核结果，你该怎么办呢？康涅狄格州的迈克·斯托拉德(Mike Stallard)，是商业管理咨询公司“E Pluribus Partners”的创始人，他在邮件中表示，“虚心接受你认为正确的方面，并与老板分享你的下一步改进计划，以免类似状况再次发生。至于你不能表示赞同的方面，请解释原因。”千万不要意气用事。与老板再次讨论之前，请几个好朋友观察你的表现，并给出一些中肯的反馈。

并非世界末日

客观看待事情。一定要花时间去“提醒自己糟糕的绩效考核并不是世界末日，它可以是积极的个人和职业发展的催化剂”。斯托拉德说，“我曾经遇到一位主管对我说，我是大家的开心果。他说的没错。我从中学到了很多，并成为了一个更高效的领导者。”

（责编：友义）

How to cope with criticism - By Elizabeth Garone

Even the words ‘performance review’ can send a shiver down workers’ spines. And there are many quaking employees out there.

Performance reviews — which assess how well workers have done their jobs during the previous year — have become almost standard in companies large and small. Almost 90% of US companies perform these formal evaluations at least once a year, according to a 2014 study from the Virginia-based Society for Human Resource Management. Internationally, 78% of companies have one-on-one performance discussions with employees, according to consultancy Mercer’s research.

So what happens if your latest review turns out to be less stellar than you’d hoped?

In the moment

It’s easy to get uptight when your manager says she would have liked you to do things differently over the past six months or year. Try not to get defensive, says Ruth Ross, a Northern California-based employee engagement consultant, author and speaker. “Instead, take a deep breath and ask for more information that will clarify the feedback, such as specific examples that will help you identify the issues and behaviours,” she said in an email.

Rather than saying, “I don’t know what you want from me,” say, “I want to be sure I’m clear what the expectations are,” suggested Ross. “Ask for additional information and time to process it.” One way to do this is by letting your boss know that you need some time to digest their feedback and would like a second meeting to discuss it further.

Appearances count

You’re going to feel hurt, and you may even want to sulk a little, and that is okay, according to Dr Uta Bindl, associate professor of management at the London School of Economics. “Especially if you feel passionate about your job and proud to have achieved the career you are in, bad performance reviews may come as a major blow to your ego.” But be careful not to share too much of your feelings at work. “One thing you should definitively not do is to vent your negative emotions in front of your colleagues or boss,” said Bindl in an email. “To express these negative emotions in your workplace — although they may make you feel better in the short term — will likely not help but harm you.”

Instead, you’ll want to remain polite and professional. “Try to think of any negative performance feedback you receive as a situation that can be improved. It’s not about you as a person,” said Bindl. “The frame of mind that you want to adapt is to try not to see yourself as a victim but as an active participant in a situation that you can and will help to improve in the future.”

Give yourself a break

If the review has left you emotional but you need to stay at work for the rest of the day, take a small break, walk around the block or get a cup of coffee, suggested Bindl. “Do something that will cheer you up in the moment, and then go back to work when you feel calmer.” When you get home, it’s okay to give yourself a short mourning period. Let your friends cheer you up over a cup of coffee or your partner take you out for a nice meal, she suggested. “To help feel better again, engage in activities that you know you will enjoy.”

What next?

Once you feel ready, slowly read the review again to process the information. “Develop key questions to elicit specific examples or concrete input, and formulate your plan to improve,” said Ross.

If you are able to secure a follow-up meeting, start by acknowledging the feedback you received and then suggest working together on a plan for moving forward. “Convey gratitude, an openness to receive the information and a willingness to make change,” suggested Ross.

What if you don’t agree with everything in the review? “On the points you believe are accurate, admit them and share your thoughts about how you can develop so they will not be repeated,” said Connecticut-based Mike Stallard, founder of business management consulting firm E Pluribus Partners, in an email. “On the points you disagree with, explain why.” Just don’t go at it alone. Before going in for that follow-up meeting, have a couple of good friends review your responses and give you feedback.

Not the end of the world

Keep things in perspective. Make sure to take the time to “remind yourself that a bad performance review is not the end of the world and that it can be the catalyst to positive personal and career growth,” said Stallard. “I once had a supervisor tell me I was a people-pleaser. He was right. I learned from it and became a more effective leader.”