My name is Mao Jiayun. I’m in Class 1, Grade 4. Look! This is my home. It’s not big, but it’s very nice. There are six rooms in it, three bedrooms, a kitchen, a bathroom and a living room. There is a computer, a bed , two chairs , a desk and three windows in my father’s bedroom. There is a picture, a bed, a shelf, a desk and three chairs in my room. You can see a picture, a fan and a shelf in Grandma’s room. In the living room, you can see a picture, a fan, two lights, a TV, a table, three sofas and many books. Do you like my home? (常平第一小学四（1）班 毛佳韵,指导老师：谭焕娟)
【点评】
这篇作文的题目是“我的家”，是一篇介绍家的作文。小作者开门见山，直接点题，首先介绍了这是我的家，然后逐一介绍了家里有六间房，然后介绍每个房里有什么东西。