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Finding my way back home 找寻我的回家之路 1 "Dear Dad," I wrote, "I want to come home from my exile." After many hours of thinking as I sat by the side of a busy highway, I tore the page in half and crushed it into a small ball. I'd started this letter many times but would always fall into despair. I wanted to go home — home to my parents and sisters, but I would always hesitate … I didn't know if it was feasible. “亲爱的爸爸，”我写道，“我想结束我的流放，回家！”我坐在一条繁忙的高速公路旁想了很久，还是把纸撕成了两半，并捏成了一个小球。这封信我已写了好多次开头，但每次都以绝望而告终。我想回家——回到有我父母和姐妹的家，但我总是犹豫不决……不知回家之路是否行得通。 2 I had run away from home after finishing high school. My parents had insisted I go to college; our family code demanded it but I was tired of school. I hated it. I was determined not to go. And, besides, my father was too strict with me. The allowance he gave me was pitiful. I had multiple jobs to do around the farm. I hated the work, finding it hollow and dull! I was miserable. 高中毕业后我离家出走了。因为父母坚持要我去上大学，我家的家规要求我这么做，但我厌倦了学校。我憎恨学校，坚决不肯上大学。再说，父亲对我太严厉，给我的零花钱少得可怜。在农场我还得干各种各样的活。我讨厌这样的工作，发现它既没意思又单调乏味！我很痛苦。 3 There had been a fight between my father and me. Like a volcano erupting, I snapped. I threw some things into a bag and left angrily. My father shouted after me, "If you leave, don't come back!" My mother cried and I have seen her grief and tears a hundred times during sleepless nights. 我和父亲之间曾有过一次激烈的争吵。我突然发怒，犹如火山爆发。我把一些东西塞入一个袋子后，愤然离开了。我父亲在我背后高喊：“要走，就不要回来！” 母亲哭了，多少次不眠之夜，我都看到了她的悲痛和泪水。 4 The letter had to be written. 但这封信还得写。 5 Dear Dad, 亲爱的爸爸： 6 It's been more than a year now. I've traveled east to west. I've had a series of jobs, mostly manual labor, as a waiter in a banquet hall, as a maintenance man in a dairy plant, and once as a deck hand on a commercial fishing boat. None of them amounted to very much. Always the same question: "How much education have you got?" They always want college graduates for the good jobs. 离家出走一年多了。我从东到西，干过一连串的活儿，主要是体力活儿。我在宴会厅当过服务生，在乳制品厂做过维修，在商业捕鱼船上打过杂。没有一件工作是有价值的。他们总是问同样的问题：“你的学历是什么？”他们总是想要大学毕业生来干体面一点儿的工作。 7 Dad, I want to affirm this: You and Mother were right about everything. I know now that the work on the farm didn't hurt me. I've met many people since I've been away; some were refined and others very coarse. I didn't know what home meant until I'd been away for a few months. My awareness has changed. I'm convinced I can't be away from my family any more. 爸爸，我要明确地说，您和妈妈过去所做的一切都是对的。我现在知道在农场打工对我没有害处。离家出走后，我碰到过很多人，有的有教养，有的很粗俗。离家几个月后我才知道什么是家。我的想法变了，我确信我再也不能离开家了。 8 I want to come home and bond with my family again. I'd like to go to college and learn how to be an organic farmer, and then, if you'll let me, maybe I could farm with you. 我想回家，想和家人聚在一起。我要上大学，学做一个种植有机作物的农民。然后，如果您同意，也许我可以留在农场跟着您干。 9 I'm on the road now, so you can't answer me by letter. But in a few days, I'll be passing by the farm at night. And, Dad, I'm asking you to allow me to come home to demonstrate that you've forgiven me by leaving the porch light on. If there is no light on, I'll resign myself to your decision and just keep on going. I'll understand. 我现在在回家的路上，所以您不能给我回信。但就在这几天，我会在晚上途经家里的农场。爸爸，我请求您让我回家，请把门廊的灯打开，表明您已经原谅了我。如果我没看到灯亮，我会遵从您的决定，继续上路。我会理解。 10 Please give my love to Mother and the girls. 请代我问候母亲和姐妹们。 11 Love, 爱您， 12 Your son 您的儿子 13 Overnight, I tried to sleep on the grass by the road, but sleep did not come. I wondered what my little sisters were doing and what wonderful food my mother was cooking. 整整一个晚上，我想要在路边的草地上入睡，但就是睡不着。我想啊想，想小妹妹们在做什么，想我妈妈又在做什么美味佳肴。 14 I couldn't bear my restless thoughts any longer. I roused myself and started down the long road home. But was it still my home? 我再也不能忍受那些焦虑不安的思念了。我振作起来，踏上了回家的漫漫之路。但它仍然是我的家吗？ 15 A police car stopped and the deputy offered me a ride. It was good to have someone to talk with. "Where're you going, son?" he asked. Somehow, he reminded me of my own father. 一辆警车停了下来，车上的那位巡警让我搭了一程。有人说话的感觉真好。他问：“去哪儿，孩子？”不知为什么，他让我不禁地想起了父亲。 16 A long silence. "Home," I said. 沉默好一阵之后，我说：“回家。” 17 "Where have you been?" “你去哪儿了？” 18 He seemed truly interested. There was real integrity in his face. 他好像真的很感兴趣，脸上写满了真诚。 19 "All over," I said. “四处走了走。”我说。 20 "Been away from home long?" “离家很久了吧？” 21 "A year, one month and two days." I said. “一年一个月零两天。”我说。 22 He didn't look at me, but he smiled, and I knew he understood. 他没有看我，但他微笑着，我知道他懂。 23 "You're a fine boy," he said. “你是一个好孩子，”他说。 24 Then he told me about his own two sons, "My older son ran away from home two years ago – two years and15 days." He looked away and then said, "I hope someday somebody will be nice to him, too." 然后他告诉我他自己的两个儿子的情况。“我的大儿子两年前离家出走，已经两年零十五天了。”他扭过头去，然后又说：“我希望有一天也有人会待他好。” 25 Two days later, I was on the road within 50 miles of home. A big truck with a cargo trailer slowed and stopped. I ran and got in from the heat. The air-conditioning felt good. 两天后，我离家不到五十英里了。一个带有货运拖车的大卡车慢慢地开过来并停了下来。我赶紧跑过去上了车，摆脱酷热，吹着空调的感觉真好。 26 Somewhat later rain began to fall, slowly at first, and then hard enough to soak the earth. I drifted off to sleep and woke feeling refreshed. 不一会儿，开始下起雨来，起先很小，接着便是瓢泼大雨，足以浇透整个大地。我迷迷糊糊地睡着了，醒来时神清气爽。 27 We were nearing my family's farm. I was awake and alert. Would there be a light shining on the porch? It was torture to look and I couldn't bear to do it. Suddenly, we were there. I surrendered myself to my fate! 我们正在一点一点地接近我家的农场，我顿时清醒和警觉起来:门廊上会有一盏灯亮着吗？每看一眼就好似一种折磨，我简直受不了了。刹那间，我们到了。我只能听天由命，任凭命运摆布了！ 28 The truck driver smiled and said, "Look at that, would you! Just like in a fairy tale! That house there, the one just over there! Four bamboo cane chairs are sitting on the porch, with lighted lamps in every one of them, and an old man, as still as a statue, is out there with a flashlight aimed toward the road. AND, the porch light is on, too!" 卡车司机微笑着说：“快看那，你还不赶快看！就像活生生的童话一样！看那边的那个房子，就是那边的那个！那门廊上放着四把竹藤椅，每把椅子上面都有亮着的灯。有位老人站在外面，丝毫不动，像一尊雕像一样，他正举着手电朝道路方向照呢！重要的是：门廊的灯也亮着！” |
